Everything Remains Quiet Inside

I returned from Poulstone late on Friday night .. to find, a rock through the greenhouse and four broken panes of glass .. a neighbour's misplaced football and the little plastic shelter housing newly sprouted vegetables split, the tiny plants are squashed .. it's not that I don't care .. it is what it is ..

Saturday .. still feeling quiet, so quiet inside .. feeling no need to reach outside myself and no real need even to speak over much, I had to do various things and I did them within this beautiful place of amazing. Drawn out slightly later on when T put me on the phone to my Dad (who has never and will never understand me) who said 'So was Kung Foo good ?' I didn't make a big deal. Starting to feel a little isolated in my joy.

Sunday .. another glorious day .. I sit at the side of the house with a mandala of candles (one for each Deepener 20 candles), this time it is not windy .. I sit and I sit, the sun on my face, the dog by my side .. I do not know the time .. I sit for ages and ages .. one by one the candles go out, some burnt to the bottom of the wick, some blown out by the breeze. I want to sit until the last candle goes out, time ticks on there are 4 candles remaining .. I am going to my parents for lunch, do not really want to go and I know at some point I must re-engage with life .. I check the time .. I have been sitting for almost 2 hours .. alone and silent .. ain't life grand ...