Unlucky For Some - Day 13

May 10th 2006

The dog .. me .. not really there at all .. trying .. trying .. still not there .. another nice day .. blue/grey skies .. cold breeze .. aware of my body .. relax my feet .. my ankles .. thoughts come .. slowing down .. slowing down .. relax my feet .. my ankles .. thoughts come .. let go for a while .. the playing field .. photo fest. .. trying again .. relax my feet .. ankles - release the joints .. relax my calves .. release my knees .. thighs .. release my hips .. pelvic girdle .. belly .. lower back .. thoughts come .. let go of it .. truly .. let it go .. a butterfly on the daisies .. blossom rains down on us.

Frothy coffee .. sun shine .. birds song .. harmonious music.


I'm getting braver with my drawing .. I attempt a dicentra/tree mandala - started off ok - rapidly went downhill .. more bottletops .. more holes .. more string .. bigger mandala .. still relatively small .. still collecting .. a butterfly/moth mandala .. a magnetic mosaic view from my window mandala .. various others .. a fiery sun (I love it) .. spinning colour ..

A change of direction is needed .. my book of ideas .. friendship bracelets .. together .. a mandala .. I sit with this intention.

At first .. I'm so smart .. 'tape it in place it said, so it doesn't move about' .. I didn't .. grrrr .. thread A over B (I don't need to be on the Deepening to do this, any old Homer Simpson can do it) ok then A over B again - erm well mine is a bit of a twist already and not like the picture .. the picture is rubbish anyway and doesn't make it clear .. so it's the picture's fault .. ok never mind, it ain't rocket science right ? this shit is for kids .. I can do this .. so now A over C .. alright .. what the hell am I meant to do with B while A goes over C ? Shit .. I am so crap .. how hard can it be ? grrrr .. shit .. shit .. shit .. ok maybe I do need to be on the Deepening after all .. calm down .. come into my body .. tape it into place .. go slow .. take it from the top .. and after a while .. hey check me out .. it's only starting to look like the picture .. yeah .. go me ..

Out of my tangled mess comes a (almost) perfect A over B once .. A over B twice .. A over C once .. A over C twice .. B over C once .. B over C twice .. etc. etc. ad infinitum !

So I cast off and I have a friendship bracelet .. I offer it to T, he doesn't want to be my friend .. that's cool ..

I start another .. as I A over B .. A over B .. A over C, I start to really enjoy the rhythmic motion .. I chant as I go, Love .. Joy .. Peace & Happiness .. completely centred .. completely in the moment .. nothing else matters except Love .. Joy .. Peace & Happiness .. the tangled mess is gone .. I make another .. and another .. I almost forget that tonight is Tai Chi, but T has made enough Cauliflower Cheese to feed a small family for a week and he calls me in plenty of time to eat and shower and then to Tai Chi as the thunder storm begins .. the rain follows behind me all the way there .. the air is warm and heavy .. I love thunder storms ..

At Tai Chi .. we start with some energy as the windows light up and the air vibrates with the thunder .. we work with full and empty .. yin and yang .. we play the form ..

The thunder is over .. rain .. big rain .. more bracelets and bed.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .. Love .. Joy .. Peace & Happiness