I Hardly Move At All On Day 21

July 12th 2006



It's 4.30am, morning has broken, the dog is trying to get in bed with me. I have not slept well, I have toothache in a tooth which was giving me no trouble until the dentist messed with it ! I tell the dog to go back to his own bed, he moves and tries to sit on my head ! he pays T a visit, to sniff his elbow and then goes away. I go back to a fitful sleep filled with the sound of sea-gulls.

It looks like it will be a nice day, not too hot. Corbin is really good today, we walk and walk, I drift in and out of awareness. I see a perfectly proportioned Xmas tree in a less than perfect garden. There is a terracotta face on the wall by a front door which is smiling at me. The Livingstone Daisies are in full flower and there are loads of them alone my route - perfect mandalas. Also Hydrangeas in all different shades of pink and blue. Lee Ryan, the dog and I walk past the most beautifully delicate white poppies.

I get home and T is on his way out. There is washing which needs to go on the line and there are potatoes which need scraping for lunch .. I feel grumpy as I am itching to create and engage with my project .. I decide these things can be my first mandala, I hang up the washing and then I straighten my spine at the sink and scrape the potatoes with grace and Gabrielle.

I sit with a cup of tea, looking out at the Hostas on the patio. The dog is snoring in his bed. There is a bee busying himself on the fushia. I am touched by Gabrielle's lyrics.

I get all my cushions down and I lie on the floor by the open french doors, I put 'Africa Awakens' on the stereo and Corbin comes to lie with me. I feel like I could be at Poulstone lying on the floor in the big room indulging in music. I drum rhythms on Corbin, he doesn't seem to mind. After not very long, T returns. I remain where I am and T gets lunch. The dog has fallen asleep on the cushions. I'm glad I scraped the potatoes because lunch is very enjoyable.

T goes out again. The Africa CD goes back on and I make a mandala with rose petals from the garden - they are silky and soft to the touch and smell like sherbert. I read a rose meditation earlier in my mandala book, which said "take the rose into your inner self and let it bloom in a burst of spiritual intensity". I sit with an image of a rose blossoming inside my heart and I smell the soft petals in my hand, I feel sad and I don't know why.

The dog is running in his dream, I look up into the blue sky and the clouds and read some more meditations. I lie down again with the dog on the cushions and let go into the music and the temultuous forest rain.



I draw my first mandala, a steel drum and a rose. I take a shower, luxuriating in moisturising shower gel, which proceeds to make me itch !!

I draw a couple more mandalas and make pasta soup for tea. It's ready and T arrives home just in time. I go to Tai Chi .. tonight, I am bored and want it to be over, I keep looking at the clock wishing away the lesson. I still have a toothache. I am calmer as I leave.

I come to bed, this time with a Carribean CD, it is grey, cloudy and warm. As I reflect on today, it all seems a bit of a mess, the mandalas I made have not moved me, neither has Tai Chi, very briefly while lying on the floor something moved in me and for the rest of the day, I feel like I have been AWOL.