Seems Like Only Yesterday - Day 2

February 24th 2006

The dog and I went out again this morning. We met a small boy who was very excited to see us, he said he used to have a German Sheppard crossed with a Bull Terrier and when we asked 'Was it white ?', he replied 'No .. it was German Sheppard coloured' (obviously !), it just had a head and legs like Corbin. Anyway, he had to go to school and Corbin needed a poo, so we both had to go .. catch ya later small boy.

It snowed a bit and the wind was icy, but we didn't care. The sky was grey and bright white. I didn't take my music today, I decided to just be there in the moment, not sure I actually achieved this too much however.

We were almost back and I was singing 'It's So Easy' and so decided todays first CD would be Buddy Holly. Back home, I had a new Joshua Kadison CD through the post this morning, so I changed my mind and played that first, Buddy Holly got relegated !

I warmed my slippers in the microwave, lit some candles, then spent the morning making a woollen ball ! The winding of the wool was ok, I felt calm and peaceful .. I had lunch .. after lunch I finished my winding.

I came to cut and tie the wool into a finished pom pom .. my scissors were not sharp enough .. I couldn't cut it, I tried different pairs of scissors, I still couldn't cut it, I went back to the best pair. My hand was hurting, my temperature was rising, I was getting seriously pissed off, I felt my mood changing. I used the first and second principles and this helped, however, everytime I started to cut, I lost it and after a while, stuff the principles, I just wanted it all to be over.

Eventually, I did manage to cut all the way around the ball, my hand was red and I was hacked right off with life itself. Then I went to tie it with a nice piece of cord I have, this wasn't working, the cord was too slippery and wouldn't tie in a knot, all the wool was moving around and it was in danger of all ending up on the floor .. I was mad and sad and wished I had not embarked on this particular journey ! Although I had intended to make many of these balls and string them together in a big mandala, that went out the window, I'm never making another .. ever ..

I did then manage to tie it with another piece of wool, although, I didn't do it properly and did not tie it tight enough around the middle, so bits of wool keep falling out and it's all uneven and I hate it. My first 'rubbish' creation.

I really needed to let this go, or it would spoil my entire day.

I decided to turn off my music and sit. I came into my body, straightened my spine, relaxed and felt better already. I tried to hold the experience with heart .. and well .. I don't know about that one still.

I sat with a meditation CD of crystal singing bowls, I calmed down and I was dropping in .. birds were twittering outside my window, my wind chimes were tinkling in the breeze, the sun was on my face.

During the meditation, I had an image appear in my head of a dark three pointed shape and a red ribbon of energy, like flames rising up.

Following the meditation, I decided, I could just get some sharper scissors !!! Is that heart ?