Iris Folding On Day 18

June 21st 2006

It was not so warm today, I went out just in a shirt and thought I might be cold as it was quite windy, however, it was ok. I feel restless today, not really sure why.

Once again and this week, even more so, I spent the whole walk drawn outside of myself. This week for the first time in ages, I took music, I didn't really hear any of that either, just lost in shit .. what shit ? whose shit ? I don't know ..



"Spread your wings before they fall apart
Home is where the hurt is darling
Follow your heart"

"Did you try to change your life
You repeat and repeat and repeat"

Lyrics by Robbie Williams

I was going to write, nothing happened on my walk and I can hear R saying 'Nothing happened .. really ? Nothing happened ? Nothing ?' and well, I noticed a fuscia which was in flower and wasn't last week and I plucked from it a bloom and I noticed that huge hydrangea flowers are made up of many little mandalas .. and so, I guess it wasn't completely nothing .. oh and I picked a few of the tiniest pink and yellow flowers from the lane just before I came in the gate ..

I came to sit in my room, I pressed my tiny flowers. I had to tidy my desk as I couldn't see it, much less put my journal or anything to create on it. I spent a while sorting bits of paper and card .. quite rewarding in itself and underneath, there is still a desk !

I have continued with my music, haven't had any at all on project days for several weeks and today, I feel like it, nothing special, just anything which arises - put my MP3 on and just pressed play, what will be, will be.

My sky is very grey and cloudy and the wind has picked up. I have a headache.

I light my pillar candle and sit to write my journal. I decide to try some iris folding today. The book says 'Simple Iris Folding' !! Good job .. well as usual, I can't figure it out at first, it doesn't seem clear, the picture is rubbish (I'm beginning to think it might be me !!) and I continue anyway and soon, it starts to look ok, ahhh, now I get it .. I finish my first sucessful iris fold and blimey it looks bloody amazing (R told me there was no end to amazing) - I did not realise I was so clever !! I make another and am swallowed by my silence once more.

I sat in my room to eat my lunch with Will Young and 10cc, the sun has come out.

I made another iris fold and then I moved on to stiching a star .. that was simple and looks great too. I made another and another. I have been for the very first time, 'making' birthday presents for a couple of people, I decide to include my iris folding and my stitched stars.

T has gone out for the afternoon and I decide to stay in my room this time, I have all my stuff around me and I don't want to bother to drag it all downstairs.

I move on to stitching a circle of my own creation, I decide to give this away too. I am getting so much better at letting go, this is beginning to move into my life also and without question that is because of the Deepening.

T cooked tea tonight, apparently, I burnt the garlic last week ..

I have had a very touching email today thanking me for the bracelet and the mandala. The thank yous are not why I do it and they do make me feel good. I am blessed once again by the people I now know.

It's the longest day today, how cool is that, that I get to do my project on the longest day !! Just a thought !!!!!

I played around finally with some ideas for my scrapbook .. I ended up with a really perfect title for my launch night. I looked through a couple of my books and went to bed with the summer solstice sky at 10.30pm. It was quite windy again and quite cold and I lay watching for a while as the tree next door cast moving shadows on my wall when the lights around it were on.