Slightly Better On Day 30

September 13th 2006

T already walked the dog and so I came to my world more leisurely this morning. I feel quite peaceful already, although I have to do some things today which will interrupt my time and already I feel like I am cheating myself of my project day time ..

I have the intention with this in mind that I will approach these things from within and be at peace with them, rather than attack myself for allowing intrusion into my space .. they are there in my world and they can be held with project day spirit - won't that be a whole lot easier (that's heart right ?).

So I lie in my bed with the desire for the morning to come to me, then my mind races off and doesn't allow this to happen .. I might as well get up ..

T goes out for the morning. I take my time to have breakfast and sit with a cup of tea and the dog. I bring my pencils down and sit to make mandalas .. I have the urge to ring R and connect with him about the current movements in my life .. he is away for a few days, I will ring again on his return .. it's ok. I continue to make mandalas.

I have a shower and then to J's. The sun is out and the sky is grey and right now, I'm feeling much brighter and more positive.

Back at home, there isn't much time now before the dog has to go to the vets about his lumps (which are now all over his body) .. so I sit quietly in the chair and I read a leaflet I have about the Shibashi sequence .. just reading about it makes me feel peaceful.

I had intended to remain with the spirit and intention of my project day while attending the vets, I do not find this possible however as T goes with me .. we walk together and he talks all the way there !

It is almost 5pm and my project day feels a bit of a let down as I have taken so much time out already .. it crosses my mind that I won't go to Tai Chi tonight (after all, I did go last night) but something in me really wants to go and so I do, following tea, I have time for a couple of rainbow mandalas and then I make my way to Tai Chi.

As A had her baby on the weekend, she will not be teaching for a while and so V is leading the sessions. Only myself and L are there and we have a very easeful session in which V introduces the first four exercises in the Shibashi set .. I really like doing Shibashi. We started with a meditation and I really let in the quiet, I felt it spreading throughout my body as V led us through. At the end of the lesson I felt completely calm. It brought a good end to a very interrupted day.

I get home and go straight to bed, it has started to rain and is quite blowy. I feel ok. I let Tai Chi touch me and now I lay on my bed in the dark, with the traffic and the breeze billowing through the blinds. I remain in this space of awareness and peace for half and hour before laying my head down in calmness to sleep.