And So .. It's Day 32

September 29th 2006

T already walked the dog, so I got up leisurely (although still feel tired). It is pouring with rain. After breakfast, I sat with the dog on my feet a while, just looking out at the garden and the rain. Then I came to my room to make mandalas (because that's what I do) even though in the back of my mind, I feel again like, I'm only making them because there will be nothing to put in my scrapbook this week otherwise !! I make a few, I am ambivalent about them and I am not quiet inside. I am listening to more trance music. I have been interrupted several times already today and feel hurt and disrespected all over again.

It's 11.30, I am putting down the mandalas because they are not working and they are not really what I want. I am not fulfilled, I feel the need to sit, thoughts come, they are rushing at me from all directions and I am caught as usual. As I sit, it comes to me that I have not yet indulged in a sand mandala ! Today will be the day for my first sand mandala.

I get out the little kit I got at the start of my project containing little bags of coloured sand. I also have a little plastic plate thingy onto which I pour the sand, one colour and then another.



Then there were more and more and more sand mandalas ..