What Am I Doing On Day 41 ?

I take the dog out after breakfast, it's so mild .. I drift around in the moment briefly only a couple of times when I notice a branch of yellow flowers sticking out of a ruby red hedge of berries .. and every now and then when I actually remember it's project day .. mostly though just drifting ..

I take a shower but do not indulge .. I mosey along to my massage and feeling ok this week, I still don't want to stand in front of my emotion and so, I ask for a purely physical treatment again .. I let go and I am thankful (always) for this gift .. I leave and forget my watch and my chain, panic arises .. I reason that there is no need .. I relax and it is gone ..

















I have lunch, it is 3.15 and no creation so far, something in me is struggling with that .. I put on my new Lama Gyurme CD and have the intention to be quiet for a while and join with my project. I create a mandala of moseying home ! and another with wet paper and watercolour pencils (this one is rubbish), then another which reminds me of the earth. I make another by covering a circle of card and printing out the words LOVE and PEACE in different fonts and assembling into a mandala !











There is squash soup for tea and then another LOVE mandala inspired again from a magazine.




















I have been listening mostly to Lama Gyurme (with a bits of The BGTs, Avril Lavigne and Anastasia) .. once more it has been very quiet and uninterrupted .. however, today feels a little odd .. I go to bed to reflect ..

.. I have not allowed that perfect space AGAIN today and I don't know why .. as my Deepening statement echoes through my mind, I feel fraudulent all over again .. but that's rubbish and I know it .. I am not a fraud and the Deepening (especially my project) HAS been the greatest gift, I HAVE allowed it and I AM (I always was and always will be) amazing ..