Well It's A Marvelous Night For A Moondance

Today, I receive R's letter to follow up the Deepening meet, it has been going around in my mind all day.

As the night draws in, it is very misty, I am drawn to light candles in the mist - why not ?

I go to the side of the house and lay my mandala of candles, this time 19 candles in a circle (19 Deepeners) and a candle in the centre (me). I light my candle first and then light the others one by one from it as I bring each Deepener to my mind.

So then I sit for a while with the circle of candles and me in the middle. I think about the end of Deepening .. about how it will be after it is gone - tonight J said to me, it will be done but it won't be dusted and she's absolutely right, that it will never be dusted.

I don't really know why but I have the urge to walk through the mist with my candle. I lift it from the centre, the circle of Deepeners continues to flicker and dance in the dark. I make my way around the perimiter of the garden, I can't really see, it doesn't matter. Almost at the garage, I look back at the small ring of candles burning through the mist, it looks magical and it speaks to me somehow .. it tells me it will all be ok .. once I leave the Deepening circle for the last time in January, it will all be ok, the circle will go on.

The night is so lovely, cold and misty, lights casting shadows and backlighting the trees. At the end of the garden there is water in the top of a barrel, I turn the candle upside down to see the flame reflected in the water, of course wax drips into it, I do this again and again, the flame remains alight and the wax becomes a mandala .. of course ! I carry on around the garden.

I return to the candle mandala and every candle remains alive, dancing still. I put my candle back in the middle and sit again. Each candle is touching like when we hold hands in the circle and as the breeze gently blows, it seems to move around like the energy flow from one hand to another.

I have been sitting a while and it is cold, I start to blow out the candles around the circle, one by one by one .. it gets darker and darker, colder and colder, until the only candle remaining is my own in the centre. I can see all the other candles still, they just are not lit and this speaks to me also. I blow out my final candle and now they are all in the dark .. but they are all still there resting in a circle.

It will all be ok.