Panic, The Dreams Are Back

.. there is another panic attack .. I fight with myself for over three hours and do not give a thought this time to the principles .. finally there is sleep .. then there are three terrifying nightmares .. I lie dying in a crumpled heap on the floor and wake up screaming, I am suffocating and I wake deeply troubled, I am hiding in a building so that the evil dooers who shoot my brother in the street, do not come for me

.. I am knocked for 6 all over again .. I feel like I have run out of track .. I am angry, sad and confused .. overwhelmed, tired and lost ..

.. I cannot bring myself to go to Tai Chi, I cannot stand up tonight in who I am and be seen .. I don't go .. I feel bad ..



"Now is the time to do the work. As it becomes clear that the Deepening is coming to an end, the holding that it has given begins to fade. Now is the time that 'I' need to step in. Find 'my' spine and stick to it. Build 'my' own support. 'I' have done amazingly well over this time and this is just another test so that 'I' can find out that 'I' can hold this too.

Take Heart dear Sharon. All is well"