And Today

I have been reading back through more bits of my project journal .. waiting for my Deepening Statement to arise from within .. I know it will .. it's just not time yet ..

I told L last night, one thing which has moved in me big time is that at the beginning of the Deepening, I could not have even contemplated the end of the Deepening, now although there will be a massive hole in my life and I'm certain there will be huge grief at the loss, I know absolutely I can make it through the end and I know almost certainly my life will move on to another leg of my own Deepening.

I really have had the time of my life .. I hasten to write 'Do I really deserve this vast wealth I have come upon' as these days it is harder for me to turn away from goodness and I know all this happened for a reason.

In this moment I am moved and I don't want to move from here. I listen to the Offering chant again .. I am going to P's tonight to a bonfire party, I am going to burn my 'Fear Is A Devious Little Twit' mandala and the written account of my bad dreams and I am going to let go into the moment - again .. it gives me goose pimples and brings me to tears again ..