It Rains - I Feel Better

There is rain on my window for the first time in weeks - it is welcome - I sit and watch as further spots appear ..

I find myself incredibly touched today by the hearted gift of a candle, I receive it as an offering of true friendship .. arising out of complete honesty .. there is no greater a gift ..

I spoke to JM today .. I was further able to share my feelings of panic and she was further able to help me deal .. what she told me has allowed me to stand side by side with another layer of my fear.

I am truly thankful right here in this moment.

Among other things, her theory is also that it is an early birth/pre-birth experience which needs to be healed and that it is not a coincidence that the first panic attack at the dentist occured immediately following the computer room (almost) fire when I felt completely abandonded by my colleagues without exception. She points out that this is a theme running through my life, I feel abandoned and alone and that no-one is there for me .. I tell her this is my reality .. she says it is not, it is only my perception of reality .. more food .. for thought ..

I am blessed .. and feeling positive currently amid big fear ..