No More Tears, Just Tigers On Day 38

November 12th 2006

As I sink to step, ride the wave with me
I wanted so much perfect eyes that would see
That softness is the space which holds
Slowly as my all unfolds
My noble spine, from sky to earth
Which allows me poise and shows me my worth
If only I could rest there still
Allowing my lonely heart to fill
My form with love and amazing grace
But the camera rolls and I loose my place
Can't look inside, I'm caught in my head
I was hoping for joy, all I'm feeling is dread
It's winter in my heart and it's happening again
Lots of dark clouds and here comes the rain
The sun goes in and the lights go out
This isn't it I wanted to shout
The walls come up, there's no escape
And once again, the mistakes that I make
The stick which lies tucked in the wings
Beats the beat, but no-one sings
Why oh why do I do this shit
I try on the shoes and they never fit
I want the perfect leaf to fall
Like the perfect tree stands tall
I want to be alone no more
Black and white tears on a monochrome floor
Hold me close and feel my pain
My expectations are all down the drain
I'm reaching out with nothing to give
And here in this moment, no reason to live
But tomorrow I know is a different day
And I can do this in a whole other way
Resting with this hurt and this pain
I know tomorrow will not be the same
A slice of sun is all that I need
To shine down upon my tiny heart seed
It can warm up the love that I've come to know
And join me again with my energy flow

SH November 2006










There was a dog walk and leaves, there was quiet sitting for a long while at the window with a cloudy sky, there were tiger mandalas, a spinner and a tiny mobile.

There were many candles and then just three, there has been Jennifer Berezan, Kenny G and Lama Gyurme and there has been lots of quiet contemplation.

There has been sadness and more softness than before .. dusk fell around me and it was not the same ..

Then there is chanting followed by silence .. and the gift of a bath ..

.. I lie in the bath with a solitary candle after a very quiet and sad day .. there are islands of bubbles, moving mandalas on the water .. I contemplate my life and all the treasures currently bestowed upon me .. the gift of The Deepening and all things amazing which I have met with along the way .. the gift of R, G and A .. the gift of therapy and of J .. the gift of massage and of L .. the gift of many new true heart friends .. the gift of candles and music .. the gift of health .. and the gift of life itself ..